View Full Version : NOW HIRING! Chiefs Employment Application. This is Hilarious!

Big Daddy Tek
10-14-2009, 10:17 PM

The Kansas City Chiefs are Taking Applications (http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2009/10/14/1085410/the-chiefs-are-taking-applications)

http://www.chiefscrowd.com/forums/images/imported/2009/10/28.jpg by Bewsaf (http://www.arrowheadpride.com/users/Bewsaf) on Oct 14, 2009 6:44 PM CDT (http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2009/10/14/1085410/the-chiefs-are-taking-applications)

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS**All potential employees are evaluated without regard to religion, age, how long you have been on waivers, who you know...like Parcells or Belichick (by the way...do you know them?), veteran status, or a non-job related handicap that might prevent you from blocking.
Position Sought:___________________________________________ _____________________________
How did you learn about the position? (check one)
[ ] ads in KC Star [ ] watched our last game [ ] Parcells told me [ ] I drew the short straw
Name:______________________________ Address:_____________________ City:________________ Sate:__________________ Zip _____________________
What date would you be available for work? _________________ (Could you play this weekend? Please!)
Are you a U.S. citizen, or are you authorized to work in the U.S. without restriction? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Have you ever been placed on waivers by another team? [ ] Yes [ ] No (If yes, then you are hired)
If yes, please describe circumstances ____________ (not really, we don't care...you are still hired)
If employed, are you willing to be submitted to verbal abuse? Isolation if you are hurt? [ ] Yes [ ] No
If you were in a pressure situation would you: [A] take a time out snap the F*#*$^ ball
If you were covering for a punt, would you: [A] down it on the one yard line stick your head up your A#$ and watch it roll into the end zone
[B]If you are blocking for a punt field goal would you: [A] put your head up so as to stop some, say, 275lb guy from jumping over you keep your head up your A#$ so you have a good view behind you of the blocked kick

Last Employer:_________________________________________ __ Position:_________________________
Was the employer the owner of the [ ] Dophins [ ] Cowboys (http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/teams/DAL) [ ] Patriots (http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/teams/NEP) [ ] Cardinals (http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/teams/ARI) (If so, then your hired)
Dates Employed: ____________________
Address: ________________________ City:___________________ State: _____________________
Your last Head Coach was: (If not Parcells or Belichick we really don't care) __________________________-
Can you block? [ ] Yes [ ] No (Don't be so hard on yourself...you haven't seen our guys yet)
Other skills: ________________________ (Seriously, can you block)
[B]Acknowledgment and authorization

In the event of employment, I understand that Pioli talks to his father-in-law and any false or misleading information given in my application or interview(s) may result in discharge. I understand, also, that I am required to abide by all rules and expectations of the employer. And if I cannot catch the F*#$#^ ball, I might be released.

Signature of Applicant: __________________________________________________ _____________


10-14-2009, 10:19 PM

10-14-2009, 10:24 PM
lol, I swear I really do want to try out for the Chiefs. i could do just as good as them.

10-14-2009, 10:32 PM
I'd ride the bench for the league minimum. :lol:

70 chiefsfan70
10-15-2009, 09:11 AM
:lol: Its good to be able to have some fun with this season.:bananen_smilies046: :beer:

10-15-2009, 09:14 AM
LOL.. It is good to have fun with this season

10-15-2009, 12:04 PM
I got to get one of these. I can play for the chiefs realy i could (not realy)

10-15-2009, 02:40 PM
Dont be so hard on yourself Matt have you seen our current players. Not only could you start you might just get to play more then one position while someone else stood picking his nose.

And the blocked field goal, it isnt his (Thomas Gaffords) fault, no one told him to stand up that the play was going. Again in his defense he didnt get a false start he!! he never started at all.

The embarassing thing about that kick is that not only is Gafford still on the team, he is the STARTING long snapper.

What happened with JP Darche btw anyone know, I know he was on IR last year and then released this year and didnt have a lot of history with the Chiefs but I would imagine he never stayed on the ground after the snap and allowed the other team to jump over him like they were playing leapfrog.

10-15-2009, 03:47 PM
That was awesome! Love it!