hermhater
09-29-2007, 06:52 PM
Mike Pound: Taking a Zen-like approach to the Chiefs
By Mike Pound
Globe columnist
Here we are entering one of the most intense, stress-filled parts of the sports-watching season and I have an almost Zen-like calm about me.
For one thing, the St. Louis Cardinals — who, due to a rash of injuries, have been forced to play the last month of the season with members of a St. Louis middle-school baseball team — were eliminated from the playoff race weeks ago.
For another thing, the Kansas City Chiefs are not so good this year. The Chiefs are so not so good this year that I have absolutely no expectations that, on any given Sunday, they will manage to score a touchdown, let alone win a game. An opinion that many Chiefs fans share, as evidenced by an e-mail Bob Hicks here at the Globe sent me. Someone sent the e-mail to Bob and he passed it on to me.
It was one of those e-mails that folks start sending out when their particular sports team is playing ... well, like the Chiefs. The e-mail was in the form of a brief news story. According to the e-mailed story, the Chiefs were forced to halt a recent practice when they discovered a suspicious, white powdery substance on the field. After a police investigation, it was determined that the suspicious substance was, in fact, the goal line. Police decided to allow the Chiefs to resume practice when it was determined that they were unlikely to come in contact with the substance again.
See, that’s just mean. Funny, but mean.
How bad are the Chiefs this year? All the other teams in the league got together and decided that it would be OK for the Chiefs to steal their signals.
“Heck, before each play we’ll just tell them what we’re going to do,” one team official said.
The thing is, I like the Chiefs. I want them to do well. In the past, I’ve wanted them to do so well that I would tend to react badly when they didn’t do well. I would scream at the TV. I would throw things. I would accuse a referee, who would call a holding penalty on a player who wasn’t even — technically speaking — in uniform, of having a mother who was not of the human species. I would scream at the TV. I know I said that already, but I would REALLY scream at the TV.
I’m not doing that this year. This year, when the Chiefs, say, decide to run the ball on third and 15, even though the other team has approximately 37 players and 12 cheerleaders waiting on the line of scrimmage, I will laugh.
When the Chiefs’ quarterback, 57-year-old Damon Huard, throws a fade pattern into a portion of the end zone occupied only by the team mascot, I will chuckle. And when Chiefs coach Herm Edwards calls a timeout before the game actually starts, I will smile.
That’s what low expectations will do for you. Right now, the way I feel about the Chiefs is pretty much the way I feel about George Bush. I’m to the point with George that anytime he manages to complete a sentence without sounding like Patrick from “SpongeBob SquarePants,” I figure he’s done a good job.
The great thing about low expectations is if, for some reason, things turn around, then you find yourself pleasantly surprised but without having to invest the time and energy required of high expectations.
Say the Chiefs decide to bench Damon and instead go with 12-year-old quarterback Brodie Croyle, and Brodie turns out to be the second coming of Peyton Manning. I will be happy. But it will be a controlled happy. A “that’s great but it won’t last” kind of happy.
If the Chiefs get hot and go on a winning streak, I will wait for the other cleat to drop. I will wait, patiently, for the Chiefs to do something dumb like show up in Oakland, Calif., for a game against the Raiders when, in fact, they are supposed to be in Denver, Colo., for a game against the Broncos.
And when that happens, I’ll laugh.
I’m telling you, this Zen stuff is great.
http://www.joplinglobe.com/local/local_story_271180201.html?start:int=15
By Mike Pound
Globe columnist
Here we are entering one of the most intense, stress-filled parts of the sports-watching season and I have an almost Zen-like calm about me.
For one thing, the St. Louis Cardinals — who, due to a rash of injuries, have been forced to play the last month of the season with members of a St. Louis middle-school baseball team — were eliminated from the playoff race weeks ago.
For another thing, the Kansas City Chiefs are not so good this year. The Chiefs are so not so good this year that I have absolutely no expectations that, on any given Sunday, they will manage to score a touchdown, let alone win a game. An opinion that many Chiefs fans share, as evidenced by an e-mail Bob Hicks here at the Globe sent me. Someone sent the e-mail to Bob and he passed it on to me.
It was one of those e-mails that folks start sending out when their particular sports team is playing ... well, like the Chiefs. The e-mail was in the form of a brief news story. According to the e-mailed story, the Chiefs were forced to halt a recent practice when they discovered a suspicious, white powdery substance on the field. After a police investigation, it was determined that the suspicious substance was, in fact, the goal line. Police decided to allow the Chiefs to resume practice when it was determined that they were unlikely to come in contact with the substance again.
See, that’s just mean. Funny, but mean.
How bad are the Chiefs this year? All the other teams in the league got together and decided that it would be OK for the Chiefs to steal their signals.
“Heck, before each play we’ll just tell them what we’re going to do,” one team official said.
The thing is, I like the Chiefs. I want them to do well. In the past, I’ve wanted them to do so well that I would tend to react badly when they didn’t do well. I would scream at the TV. I would throw things. I would accuse a referee, who would call a holding penalty on a player who wasn’t even — technically speaking — in uniform, of having a mother who was not of the human species. I would scream at the TV. I know I said that already, but I would REALLY scream at the TV.
I’m not doing that this year. This year, when the Chiefs, say, decide to run the ball on third and 15, even though the other team has approximately 37 players and 12 cheerleaders waiting on the line of scrimmage, I will laugh.
When the Chiefs’ quarterback, 57-year-old Damon Huard, throws a fade pattern into a portion of the end zone occupied only by the team mascot, I will chuckle. And when Chiefs coach Herm Edwards calls a timeout before the game actually starts, I will smile.
That’s what low expectations will do for you. Right now, the way I feel about the Chiefs is pretty much the way I feel about George Bush. I’m to the point with George that anytime he manages to complete a sentence without sounding like Patrick from “SpongeBob SquarePants,” I figure he’s done a good job.
The great thing about low expectations is if, for some reason, things turn around, then you find yourself pleasantly surprised but without having to invest the time and energy required of high expectations.
Say the Chiefs decide to bench Damon and instead go with 12-year-old quarterback Brodie Croyle, and Brodie turns out to be the second coming of Peyton Manning. I will be happy. But it will be a controlled happy. A “that’s great but it won’t last” kind of happy.
If the Chiefs get hot and go on a winning streak, I will wait for the other cleat to drop. I will wait, patiently, for the Chiefs to do something dumb like show up in Oakland, Calif., for a game against the Raiders when, in fact, they are supposed to be in Denver, Colo., for a game against the Broncos.
And when that happens, I’ll laugh.
I’m telling you, this Zen stuff is great.
http://www.joplinglobe.com/local/local_story_271180201.html?start:int=15