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McLovin
10-31-2007, 06:27 PM
Cuddles, the faithful aged poodle, on photo safari

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in India, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a tiger heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep sh** now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the tiger is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious tiger! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young tiger halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the tiger, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the tiger. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the tiger with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the tiger, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the tiger.
The young tiger is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the tiger coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another tiger!"
Moral of this story . . . Don't mess with old farts . . . age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience!

http://www.missico.com/personal/nonsense/cuddles_photo_safari.htm

rbedgood
10-31-2007, 06:30 PM
Okay so moral of the story is leave Chiefster's little old dog alone...but you can kick the walker out from under the old man if you choose.

hermhater
10-31-2007, 06:33 PM
That is a good story!

I will tell it so my 20 year old cat just in case she runs into that poodle!

Heh!

McLovin
10-31-2007, 06:36 PM
Sorry had to mention those that shall not be, but thought you would find this funny. This one is for Canada.




Bills Fans in He!!

Two guys from Buffalo, NY die and wake up in hell.
The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Buffalo, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, you know."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, hats and mittens. The devil asks them again, "Its awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?" Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Buffalo, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, you know."
This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming every where. He stops by the room with the two guys from Buffalo and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourself." The two Buffalonians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Buffalo, we've just got to have a cook out when the weather's this nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two New Yorkers.
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?
The Buffalonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know, if he!! froze over, that must mean the Bills won the Super Bowl."


http://www.missico.com/personal/nonsense/too_funny_01.htm

rbedgood
10-31-2007, 06:40 PM
Now that there's funny...Hermhater, you paying attention...Bryon just gave you Humor Lesson #2...pick on Buffalo

hermhater
10-31-2007, 06:48 PM
Now that there's funny...Hermhater, you paying attention...Bryon just gave you Humor Lesson #2...pick on Buffalo


Q: Why doesn't Rochester have a professional football team?
A: Because, then Buffalo would want one.

Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?

A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

Q: How many Buffalo Bills does it take to win a Superbowl?
A: Nobody knows, and we may never find out.

Q: What do you call 47 guys sitting around a TV watching the Superbowl?

A: The Buffalo Bills.

Q: What do the Buffalo Bills and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game.

Q: How do the Buffalo Bills count to 10
A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-9, 0-10

Q: What do the Buffalo Bills and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ!"

Q: How do you keep a Buffalo Bill out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Where do you go in Buffalo if there is a tornado?
A: To Ralph Wilson Stadium - they never get a touchdown there.

:lol:

rbedgood
10-31-2007, 07:25 PM
Well done HH

Canada
10-31-2007, 07:25 PM
Those are awesome. Thanx guys. I might not get any from the wife tonite but I will be laughing my *** off!!