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Canada
01-07-2008, 06:16 PM
(Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks )

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,you may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend, you may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada

If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada .

If you find 2 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Canada

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada :bananen_smilies046:

hermhater
01-07-2008, 06:29 PM
I like the one about the pot holes being filled with snow!

Good stuff man!

:lol:

kcchiefs_31
01-07-2008, 06:54 PM
Heres a couple more i have heard of, and some that us fellow Canadians have made up:

1) You are bundled up in three sweaters, a parka, ski pants, a toque, two pairs of mittens, boots past your knees in 3 feet of snow in a -35 (-8000 with the wind-chill) blizzard, your eyelashes are frozen together, your nose is running, you can't feel your toes, and you still stop at 7 Eleven for a Slurpee on the way home.

2) You can always tell who the Americans are at the bar.

3) You know that school is never cancelled even during the worst of blizzards.

4) You are proud to not wear a jacket when you are in another city and it's -1 and everyone else is all bundled up as if the next ice age has arrived.

5) You have devised new and creative ways to kill mosquitoes.

6) You get a new bike for Christmas, and have to wait 6 months to ride it.

7) If you've bragged about being able to drink at 18/19 to your out of country friends.

8) If you've waited outside a store at 5:00am for a Boxing Day doorcrasher sale.

9) If you think Global Warming is a total crock...we're still waiting for some changes.

10) You have gotten your tongue stuck to a pole or zipper.

11) You pre-game with a 2-6 before going to the bar...in the parking lot.

12) You're SURPRISED when all four lanes of traffic are open [not under construction/being cleared] on a main road.

13) Your family activities are shovelling the driveway.

14) You buy a car, and choose the color based on what it looks like covered with slush/snow.

15) When you see "road under construction" signs up 3 years after the city put them there. Then you call the city to find out what's going on and they say "we forgot about that."

16) You laugh at the USA when the city shuts down because of a light powdering of snow.

17) You know that Fall isn’t a season. It’s the day between green grass and snowbanks.

18) Everywhere you go you see at least one BEAUTIFUL woman.

19) You've asked for vinegar for your fries in the USA and got a strange look.

hermhater
01-07-2008, 07:40 PM
Canadians eat vinegar on their fries?

That's just weird.

:lol:

Canada
01-07-2008, 07:51 PM
Canadians eat vinegar on their fries?

That's just weird.

:lol:

Isn't that kinda the pot callin the kettle black??

hermhater
01-07-2008, 07:53 PM
Isn't that kinda the pot callin the kettle black??

I was just teasin'.

When I was in Germany I acquired a taste for french fries with mayonnaise.

:D

chief31
01-07-2008, 07:55 PM
I like dippin' my french-fries into my chocolate shake.

Try it.

Canada
01-07-2008, 07:57 PM
I like dippin' my french-fries into my chocolate shake.

Try it.

I don't eat fast food and I don't like chocolate. I will however try a combination of chicken wings and beer. I hear those things are quite tasty.

hermhater
01-07-2008, 08:02 PM
I like dippin' my french-fries into my chocolate shake.

Try it.


I do that at Wendy's with a frosty!

Mmmmm...

McLovin
01-07-2008, 11:01 PM
I don't eat fast food and I don't like chocolate. I will however try a combination of chicken wings and beer. I hear those things are quite tasty.
Hotwings and Ranch, ... oooh yeah and of course beer.

AkChief49
01-08-2008, 04:02 AM
(Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks )

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,you may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend, you may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada

If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada .

If you find 2 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Canada

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada :bananen_smilies046:

Yeah, I understand everyone them!!! I have the security lights.....frickin' moose keep setting them off!!! :lol:

hermhater
01-08-2008, 04:21 AM
Yeah, I understand everyone them!!! I have the security lights.....frickin' moose keep setting them off!!! :lol:

I fed a wolf Spam one time at the Grand Canyon!


And I took pictures of Caribou.

I pissed off some Canadians who were staying at the hotel by the canyon.


They were very nice about it. And respectful.

What happened to the rest of the Canadians?

:lol:

AkChief49
01-08-2008, 04:27 AM
I fed a wolf Spam one time at the Grand Canyon!


And I took pictures of Caribou.

I pissed off some Canadians who were staying at the hotel by the canyon.


They were very nice about it. And respectful.

What happened to the rest of the Canadians?

:lol:
you took pictures of caribou at the Grand Canyon??:sign0103:ha!

hermhater
01-08-2008, 04:43 AM
you took pictures of caribou at the Grand Canyon??:sign0103:ha!

Either elk or caribou.

I don't know the difference.

There were an assload of pale people yelling at me after I used the flash to take pictures of big moose looking things in the middle of the night.

The story behind that is actually very funny. It involves sleeping on a slope... raccoons stealing chocolate and running out of cigs to go shoot caribou with a camera!

Grand Canyon was fun!

rbedgood
01-08-2008, 04:44 AM
Either Elk or Cairbou.

I don't know the difference.

There were an assload of pale people yelling at me after I used the flash to take pictures of big moose looking things in the middle of the night.

The story behind that is actually very funny. It involves sleeping on a slope... raccoons stealing chocolate and running out of cigs to go shoot caribou with a camera!

Grand Canyon was fun!

Elk...they're called Elk...and when you shoot them with a rifle instead of a camera they make really good sausage...:lol: :lol:

hermhater
01-08-2008, 04:51 AM
Elk...they're called Elk...and when you shoot them with a rifle instead of a camera they make really good sausage...:lol: :lol:

Good one man!

I laughed!

:lol:

AkChief49
01-08-2008, 06:15 AM
Elk...they're called Elk...and when you shoot them with a rifle instead of a camera they make really good sausage...:lol: :lol:

Actually, caribou makes GREAT sausage also. I prefer it to moose sausage:D

Canada
01-08-2008, 08:03 AM
People are gonna be losing mancards all over the place!!
Eating moose sausage!! :lol:

AkChief49
01-08-2008, 08:32 AM
People are gonna be losing mancards all over the place!!
Eating moose sausage!! :lol:

yikes!!! hold on there Canada...I meant actual...I'm shutting up now...:bananen_smilies046:

Canada
01-08-2008, 08:33 AM
yikes!!! hold on there Canada...I meant actual...I'm shutting up now...:bananen_smilies046:

:lol: :bananen_smilies046:

rbedgood
01-08-2008, 11:05 AM
People are gonna be losing mancards all over the place!!
Eating moose sausage!! :lol:


yikes!!! hold on there Canada...I meant actual...I'm shutting up now...:bananen_smilies046:

Umm...Canada, when I eat sausage I'm referring to

http://sp1.mm-a11.yimg.com/image/65938094 (http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fs earch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Delk%2Bsausage%26ei%3DUTF-8%26js%3D1%26ni%3D21%26fr%3Dyfp-t-501%26b%3D22&w=500&h=375&imgurl=static.flickr.com%2F28%2F55605605_dcfb157bb c_m.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fthisis travis%2F55605605%2F&size=153.6kB&name=55605605_dcfb157bbc.jpg&p=elk+sausage&type=jpeg&no=22&tt=256&oid=978636b4bfa3b594&fusr=talber&tit=Bear%2C+Elk+and+Wild+Boar+sausage&hurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fthisis travis%2F&ei=UTF-8&src=p)

...not sure why your mind wandered elsewhere. Lonely up there in the frozen tundra?

hermhater
01-08-2008, 03:44 PM
People are gonna be losing mancards all over the place!!
Eating moose sausage!! :lol:

I got yer moose sausage right here buddy!

:lol:

Canada
01-08-2008, 03:52 PM
I got yer moose sausage right here buddy!

:lol:

Your barkin up the wrong tree too tall!! :bananen_smilies046:

hermhater
01-08-2008, 04:03 PM
Your barkin up the wrong tree too tall!! :bananen_smilies046:

I don't get it.

:sign0153:

Canada
01-08-2008, 04:09 PM
I don't get it.

:sign0153:

I was telling you that I don't want to see your "moose sausage" and then ended it with a quip about you being too tall. Kinda like they call big guys Tiny. Cause you are short. Too Tall.....like Too tall Jones. But you are little. You get it. :bananen_smilies046:

hermhater
01-08-2008, 04:13 PM
I was telling you that I don't want to see your "moose sausage" and then ended it with a quip about you being too tall. Kinda like they call big guys Tiny. Cause you are short. Too Tall.....like Too tall Jones. But you are little. You get it. :bananen_smilies046:


I happen to be of average height.

Just because all of you tall dudes have to look down to talk to us other guys doesn't mean we can't contribute to society.

YouTube - hi ho - Snow white and the seven dwarfs


:lol:

IlovetheChiefs
01-08-2008, 05:06 PM
You might be Canadian if your favorite hockey team is the Maple Leafs. Not funny, but true at least!

And you might be Canadian if you like the Toronto Bluejays. However, last year or the year before I was watching a couple Phillies-Bluejays games on tv and the stadium in Toronto looked so empty. And the Montreal Expos were getting so little support that they moved to the USA. So is it then more accurate to say, You might be Canadian if you don't like baseball, heh.