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View Full Version : The Sarcasm Thread( no, I really mean it! )



Darth CarlSatan
10-21-2008, 04:13 PM
Kansas City Chiefs Football is in a state of AWESOME! This is how I always imagined it, and we haven't been this great since Hank Stram roamed the sidelines! No wait; even BETTER than ol' Hank's glory days!
In short; we RULE!

Our management and Coaching are top-tier all the way; our drafting and signing of free-agents is literally untouched by any other team in the history of the NFL; I hope our Head Coach and GM live forever.
There is ONE exception though. Why in the name of all that is Holy and Good did we sign this 'Brandon Flowers' character?!?!? The guy can't even elevate his game, in the midst of all the greatness around him, enough to play consistently every week!!!
That's okay Carl and Herm; considering the virtual bottomless well of talent you have brought to Kansas City, I'm willing to let this one slide.

Our Quarterback is a Minor Deity. With two whole quarters of regular season playing time, he has proven to everyone that he IS the QB of the Future. And he's tough as nails; you can sack him 100 times each game( not likely to happen though due to the Red Brick Wall that IS our Offensive Line )and just like a Timex Watch, he takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!!!

Much like Derrick Thomas before him, our Running Back is a sterling example of caring and being involved in the community just as much and just as awesomely as he plays football.
When kids need a hero to look up to, LJ is there 100%; all day, every day, 24/7. There's no doubt about it; when the sad day comes that LJ retires, we'll be retiring the #27 right along with him( excuse me for a moment...I've got something in my eye...).

Our offensive playbook and play-calling are unpredictable from week to week, and the very epitome of Genius. Chan Gaily is the greatest O-Coord money this franchise has ever spent.

At the kind and unassuming request of the Greatest Head Coach Who Ever Lived, our long-time D-Coord has created the most deadly version of the Cover 2 to ever walk on to the field, and he did so without so much as a "discouraging word" or dirty look.
Of course, when you possess as many defensive playmakers as WE do, you can get out on the field and play SANDLOT all day, and STILL come out on top!( except for that "Flowers" kid, damn him...)
Did I mention we rule? Quite so.

Care to see the definition of Special Teams? Turn your eye to One Arrowhead Drive!
Our return team is so awesome, we don't even need anyone to block for the returner. And if our return unit is playing the defensive side, you might as well park your a** at the 5-yard line because that's all you'd get trying to run it at us.

Yep; our ST Units are God's Gift To Football. Our FG kicker is a veritable Golden-Footed God who makes Nick Lowery look like Pop Warner.
If only our Punter could elevate his game to the same level!
Oh well; you can't have it all, even on the BEST of teams.

Did I mention We Rule?

Canada
10-21-2008, 04:46 PM
Thats funny.

nigeriannightmare
10-21-2008, 07:24 PM
You forgot to mention how much the ownership cares about us fans and having the cheapest tickets in the nfl, while having the nfl's greatest team.

josh1971
10-23-2008, 04:09 PM
Oh, it's *obvious* that Carl's only looking out for the fans, but more so for Brodie's health and well being by drafting and signing all those immovable pillars that are the chiefs O-line.

Darth CarlSatan
10-23-2008, 08:19 PM
This one isn't even mine but it was so hilarious in its simplicity, I spat my beer all over the keyboard.

Let's see, this was just after the Atlanta game I believe.

"I love that play we do where we throw the ball to the sideline immediately after the snap and get somewhere between 0 and 3 yards. That play is SO AWESOME, and we do it a hundred times a game"...

Yep; still funny :D:D:D

Darth CarlSatan
10-23-2008, 10:07 PM
Oh, it's *obvious* that Carl's only looking out for the fans, but more so for Brodie's health and well being by drafting and signing all those immovable pillars that are the chiefs O-line.


"Every time Carl Peterson makes a business decision for the Kansas City Chiefs, an Angel get's it's wings, the constipated become regular, and $100-dollar bills Rain From The Sky"
-Socrates

jtandcrew
10-24-2008, 05:25 AM
This one isn't even mine but it was so hilarious in its simplicity, I spat my beer all over the keyboard.

Let's see, this was just after the Atlanta game I believe.

"I love that play we do where we throw the ball to the sideline immediately after the snap and get somewhere between 0 and 3 yards. That play is SO AWESOME, and we do it a hundred times a game"...

Yep; still funny :D:D:D

Dont forget how the cover 2 defense is as good as it was when he was with Tampa....Its ALMOST as good as the prevent defense. Especially when his DC loves both of them so much that he would rather run them than play man to man and blitz the hell outta the QB!

Guru
10-24-2008, 05:31 AM
parking is dirt cheap at Arrowhead.

jtandcrew
10-24-2008, 05:36 AM
parking is dirt cheap at Arrowhead.

Yeah I know! what is it? 25$ now? I cant remember. Thats GOT to be at the league's lowest! :bananen_smilies046:

Darth CarlSatan
10-24-2008, 05:38 AM
Dont forget how the cover 2 defense is as good as it was when he was with Tampa....Its ALMOST as good as the prevent defense. Especially when his DC loves both of them so much that he would rather run them than play man to man and blitz the hell outta the QB!

Do you ever get the feeling that one day, close to the end of Carl and Herm's tenure, one of those two guys are going to get snippy with Gun, and that they will be leaving Arrowhead on a stretcher?

I do.

jtandcrew
10-24-2008, 05:41 AM
Do you ever get the feeling that one day, close to the end of Carl and Herm's tenure, one of those two guys are going to get snippy with Gun, and that they will be leaving Arrowhead on a stretcher?

I do.

I honestly think there would be 2 leaving on a stretcher! Gun would be standing behind the ambulance waving! No sarcasm in this 1 though! :lol: :bananen_smilies046:

Darth CarlSatan
10-24-2008, 05:48 AM
I honestly think there would be 2 leaving on a stretcher! Gun would be standing behind the ambulance waving! No sarcasm in this 1 though! :lol: :bananen_smilies046:

WORD!
:bananen_smilies046:

m0ef0e
10-24-2008, 12:47 PM
Don't forget we get to play one of the worst QB's in the league this week. I can't understand why the Jets are going with Favre. He may be young and may have a future in the NFL but he's not ready yet. They need to let him develop from the bench for a couple of years before they toss him in the fire against vicious defenses like ours.

jtandcrew
10-24-2008, 12:50 PM
Don't forget we get to play one of the worst QB's in the league this week. I can't understand why the Jets are going with Favre. He may be young and may have a future in the NFL but he's not ready yet. They need to let him develop from the bench for a couple of years before they toss him in the fire against vicious defenses like ours.

Or atleast for this week! I just dont think he has the experience yet!

Darth CarlSatan
10-24-2008, 12:55 PM
Don't forget we get to play one of the worst QB's in the league this week. I can't understand why the Jets are going with Favre. He may be young and may have a future in the NFL but he's not ready yet. They need to let him develop from the bench for a couple of years before they toss him in the fire against vicious defenses like ours.

:lol::lol::lol: