View Full Version : The Ten, and ONLY ten reasons you can dump your team

09-08-2009, 05:58 PM
This was posted on ESPN.com today and I almost died laughing:

Only abandon your team with good reason - Rick Reilly - ESPN (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=reilly_rick&id=4439324)


1. You actually play for that new team. In this case, you must still wear the cup of your old team during games.

2. You purchased that new team. However, you must have had a damn good reason for purchasing a rival. Michael Jordan can buy a piece of the Charlotte Bobcats because the Charlotte Bobcats can't win if locked in a gym with three pygmies. But if Jordan bought the Detroit Pistons? Bonfires of Air Jordans everywhere.

3. Your team hired male cheerleaders.

4. Your town's law enforcement permanently banned you from coming within 500 feet of your team's players, staff or stadium. Sure, sure, we know it was all a big misunderstanding. You were parked outside Peyton Manning's house with a telescope and three months of detailed charts because you are his personal astrologist.

5. Your spouse cheated on you with somebody from your team. With a starter, not some backup, coach or crappy PR intern. And you had to find out by some stomach-turning means, such as skywriting.

6. Your team is approaching its 50th year of one-family ownership and still hasn't won diddly. This is known as The Darwin Rule and allows you to escape, free of charge. Good example: The Fords of Detroit. No wonder 10 of the 22 declared NFL fan free agents at Fan-Free-Agency.com (http://fan-free-agency.com) are ex-Lions fans.

Rule 6b. Your owner still wears Members Only jackets. His initials are Al Davis.

7. Your team's home games are no longer televised. You are free to go, Jags fans.

8. Your team folded or left town. In this case, you are automatically an unrestricted fan free agent and can immediately put yourself up for bid. A writer named Scott Soshnick did this recently with every big-four franchise. Only nine wrote back. But one -- the Golden State Warriors -- had 28 employees send him we-want-you e-mails, mailed him a jersey with his name on it, sent a DVD with rookies wearing that jersey, signed him to a $1 lifetime contract and wrote a mock press release announcing a new fan acquisition.

9. Your team changed its uniforms to teal.

10. Your team is the Cubs. Seriously. Go already.


09-08-2009, 06:08 PM
HA! Funny stuff! :)

09-08-2009, 07:16 PM
Heh My SJ sharks are teal.. Opps they r chokers

09-08-2009, 07:51 PM
LOl i love rule 6 b. poor raider fans

09-09-2009, 03:10 AM
lol i like rule 10....poor cub fans

09-09-2009, 07:58 AM
lol i like rule 10....poor cub fans
I bet all 3 of them are crying their eyes out right now.

09-09-2009, 08:02 AM
I bet all 3 of them are crying their eyes out right now.

happen to see one of them during last years playoffs, walk into a bar cubs are losing to the dodgers and are going to get swept, and the final out happens and he just puts his head down and orders about 4 shots lol

09-09-2009, 01:40 PM
Yep! That Was A Good One For Sure!!!

09-09-2009, 05:56 PM
his initials are Al Davis... LOLOLOLOL