Another Prough's Corner classic
Preseason Chiefs are not Oreos
When you’re at work in the middle of the afternoon do you ever get hungry for something snacky? You don’t really want a meal, just something to snack on. When I want something to snack on, I always go for Oreos. Then, I remember that I don’t have any Oreos at home, so I call my wife and ask her to go get some at the store. All afternoon, all I can think about are those Oreos. By the time I pull into the drive, my mouth is positively watering over the Oreos I have waiting for me. I run into the house, grab the grocery sack on the table, and pull out….
Hydrox.
What the hell? Hydrox doesn’t satisfy me the way Oreos does. Hydrox sounds like a laundry detergent anyway. Now, you’re reading this wondering, “Where’d they get this guy and what does this have to do with Chiefs football?” You see, I hate preseason football. It’s pointless as far as I’m concerned. I want to watch the Chiefs (Oreos) and I end up watching a bunch of scrubs (Hydrox) instead. It doesn’t satisfy my craving. I want the real Chiefs. I want Oreos.
However, I do usually watch the games until the starters put on their caps and here’s what I think so far.
Larry Johnson is still going to be a stud. Everyone was freaking out when Big Willie retired. Larry Johnson doesn’t need Big Willie. Trent Green needs Big Willie. Larry Johnson will make his own hole if one isn’t made for him. I was a little worried he was going to lose a little of his edge going into this season. He always ran mad and I wondered if being made starter before the season even started would mellow him out a little bit. Nope. He’s still pissed. He will be fun to watch this season.
Ronnie Cruz sucks.
The Chiefs defense will improve a lot this year. Hali looks like he might actually pan out and if Ryan Sims responds to the butt chewing Edwards gave him the other day, the D-line will greatly improve, making the whole defense better. Jared Allen is still a stud and I’m really looking forward to see what he can do this year. Especially, if Hali or Sims can take some of the pressure off him. In fact, I’m going to make two bold predictions this year. First, Allen will get 15 plus sacks. Second, the Chiefs’ D will shut out two opponents this year. One against San Francisco and the other against the Raiders. Take it to the bank.
Ronnie Cruz sucks.
The offense is full of question marks. How will Turley do? Will Gonzalez get his catches or will he have to stay home and block? Will Ronnie Cruz be able to fill the shoes of Tony Richardson? Turley will be fine. After he gets the rust knocked off and puts on a little weight; he’ll hold his own. If you remember, he was pretty good before he was injured and he’s only 30. Turley just needs to get back into the swing of things The Gonzalez question is a little harder. They didn’t throw to him as much last year so he didn’t put up the numbers he usually does, but that was because Roaf was hurt and there wasn’t a decent back-up. If Turley fills in nicely, Tony ought to have a solid year. The Cruz question is easy. They should have never, ever, ever have let Tony Richardson go for as little money as they did. It was stupid. I would put it as akin to when they let Rich Gannon go. It was that dumb. There is no way Cruz is going to fill Tony Richardson’s shoes because, well, Ronnie Cruz sucks.
There it is, gentle readers, my little synopsis on the upcoming season. I would have been a little more in-depth, but I didn’t think anyone cared about my feelings on the guys that will be on the practice squad after final cuts. Seriously, until September 10th, there’s not one NFL game that really matters. It’s kind of naive to judge any team based on the preseason, but any fan knows that. We just need something football to talk about. When they strap on the helmets for real and the adrenaline’s rushing, the fans are screaming, then, we’ll know what kind of football team we have. It’s two weeks to real football. Two weeks to Oreos.
