Thats not at all what I thought was gonna happen!! lol
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Thats not at all what I thought was gonna happen!! lol
:lol: :lol: :lol:
An internist, an obstetrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist all went duck hunting together.
The internist spotted the first duck but didn't fire, explaining that without more tests, he couldn't be sure it was a duck. When the next duck appeared, the obstetrician raised his gun but he also didn't fire, explaining that while he was convinced it was a duck, he wasn't sure if it was a male or a female. Another duck appeared and this time the psychiatrist started to take the shot, then decided not to, explaining, "I know he's duck, but does he know he's a duck?"
When the next bird appeared, the surgeon instantly raised his gun and fired without hesitation. Turning to the pathologist, he asked, "Go see if that's a duck."
My Favorite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...
small print. had to resize
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'
HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The new truck
I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new
Silverado 1500 pickup.
Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new
"feel" before they become extinct.
The salesman (a black man wearing an Obama "CHANGE" lapel pin) sat in the
passenger seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options.
The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed
warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in
the summer heat.
Feeling a little frisky and messing with him, I mentioned that this must be
a Republican truck.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck.
I explained that if it were an Obama truck, the seats would blow smoke up
your a** year-round.
I had to walk back to the dealership... the guy had no sense of humor.