Hi SWEETS. Long time no see. Too bad about your 9ers. They easily could have been San Fran Six-0 this year.
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Hi SWEETS. Long time no see. Too bad about your 9ers. They easily could have been San Fran Six-0 this year.
the cure for fat lazy politicians
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk...lo1_r7_500.gif
2 QUARTERS or a DOLLAR BILL
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.' The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?'
The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar. 'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says ; 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'
The boy licked his cone and replied, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'
How true that is.
This was just released, the Official Schedule for the Democrat National Convention in Charlotte NC, Sept 4-6, 2012:
Democratic National Convention Schedule
4:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM Singing of "G_D___ America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM Al Sharpton Leads Castration Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire"
5:00 PM UFO Abduction Survival Joe Biden
5:30 PM Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:15 PM Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo Michael Moore
9:45 PM Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangell
10:00 PM Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners
10:30 PM Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ, & Afghanistan
11:00 PM Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM Free Gov. Blagojevich rally
11:30 PM Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish Obama Presiding
12:00 AM Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher
12:01 AM Obama Accepts Nomination, declares that the Kenyan thing was a distraction, he was really born in Bethelehem
12:05 AM Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now, Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for my call
An oldie, but a goodie............................................ ..................
definitely an UFFDA!
A road crew supervisor hired Ole to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring him, but he appeared enthusiastic and told him that he really needed the job. At least his wife Lena told him he needed the job.
He explained to Ole that his work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on the road, and he was set up with brushes and paint and his boss got him started. After the first day, the supervisor was pleased to find that he did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in his 8 hour shift. He told him that he did an outstanding job and how pleased he was with his progress.
On the second day, Ole completed painting 2 miles of road. His supervisor was surprised that on day one, he had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway. He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure that he would pick up his speed again.
On day 3, the supervisor was shocked to learn that in his 8 hour shift, Ole only completed painting 1 mile of road. He was called the supervisor's office and asked what was the problem .. "On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?"
"Vell," Ole replied, "I'll tell you vhat, but I tought you vould know. Every day I vas getting farder and farder avay from da paint can."