What's so funny?
Not sure this is true or not, but is funny.
IsraeliSense of Humour at UN
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.
A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses.
When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought,'What a good opportunity to have a bath!'
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them.'
The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted,'What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there then.'
The Israeli representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.
The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase,"Tutti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.
A women's rights group approached the Pope the next day. They noticed that the Pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind.
The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying,"Tutti Homini, et Tutti Femini" - Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.
The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope.
They said that they noticed that he blessed man kind and woman kind, and asked if he could also bless gay people.
The Pope said, "Sure".
The next day, the Pope concluded his sermon with,"Tutti Homini, et Tutti Femini, et Tutti Fruiti."
There is a hybrid version also in the works. It is known by the project name 'MULE".
As our nation's Big 3 auto manufacturers face bankruptcy, we will all be faced with returning to the old time basics.
A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'
'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'
Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'
HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN:
Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her Flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO TREAT A MAN:
Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV.