we moved and left no forwarding address
The Movie Test
This is pretty amazing!
I was surprised how this worked. Be honest and don't look at the movie list till
you have done the math!
Try this test and find out what movie is your favorite. This amazing math quiz
can likely predict which of 18 films you would enjoy the most. Don't ask me how,
but it really works!
Pick a number from 1-9.
Multiply by 3.
Multiply by 3 again.
Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite movie in the
list of 18 movies below.
1. Gone With The Wind
3. Beverly Hills Cop
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
9. The Defeat of Obama in 2012
11. Jurassic Park
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story
An old man is sitting on his porch one morning, and a young kid walks past with a roll of chicken wire under his arm.
The old man yells to him "Hey kid..what do you have there??
The kid tells him "Chicken wire"
The old man asks "What are you doin with that?"
The kid tells him "I'm goin' to catch chickens"
The old man tells him "You can't catch chickens with chicken wire"
The kid tells him "Just wait, and you'll see"
A couple hours go past, and along comes the kid, with the roll of chicken wire, all unrolled with a bunch of chickens on the wire.
The old man just stares in awe.
The next morning, the old man is sitting on his porch again, and the kid walks past with rolls of duct tape.
He asks the kid "What have you got there??"
The kid tells him duct tape"
The old man asks "What are you doin with that"?
The kid tells him "I'm goin to catch ducks"
The old man tells him "You cant catch ducks with duct tape"
The kid tells him "Just wait and see"
A couple hours pass, and along comes the kid with his duct tape all unrolled with a bunch of ducks on it.
The old man just stares in awe.
The next morning, same old man, same kid, this time the kid has branches under his arm, and the old man askes him "What do you got there?"
The kid tells him "***** willow"
The old man yells back "Let me get my jacket"
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher. Jenny was next. "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.
The teacher held her breath ...
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?""Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?""I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."
They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog crap!" Then I would say, "It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
"I used the governmental approach of giving you something for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth."
The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit...'
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit..'
The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.'
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36.
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'
New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS
The Farmer's Almanac is predicting a very cold
winter. It must be true because the squirrels
are gathering NUTS...........three of my
neighbors have disappeared.
Are you O.K.?
Here's a simple solution to the controversy over full-body scanners at airports.
Develop an enclosed booth that passengers step into but , instead of X-raying them, when the door closes, it will detonate any explosive device they have hidden on or in their body. The explosion will be contained within the sealed booth. This would be a win-win for everyone!
There would be no concern about racial profiling. The booth would eliminate long, expensive trials.
You're in the airport and you hear a muffled explosion, followed by an announcement over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers, we now have a seat available on flight number..."
What's not to like?