Originally Posted by
kcvet
Hole in the Wall
A hole has appeared in the ladies' changing rooms at the downtown sports club. Police are looking into it.
Parked
A policeman patrolling Lover's Lane one night drives by a car with the dome light on. Inside is a young man in the driver's seat reading a sports magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. The cop walks up to the driver's window and knocks. The young man looks up, opens the window and says, "Yes, Officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asks.
"I'm reading this magazine," the young man answers.
The cop points towards the young lady in the back seat and asks, "And what is she doing?"
The young man looks over his shoulder and replies, "She's just knitting."
Curious, the officer asks the young man, "How old are you?"
"I'm 19," he replies.
"And how old is she?" asks the officer.
The young man looks at his watch and says, "Well, in about twelve minutes, she'll be 18."
Helpful Wife
A man is pulled over for speeding. The cop asks him, "Did you know you were going 70 in a 55 mile-per-hour zone?"
"No sir," replies the driver. "My speedometer said I was going 60."
The man's wife, in the passenger's seat, chimes in, "Oh Frank, you were actually going 80." The man gives her a dirty look.
The cop adds, "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."
"Broken tail light?" exclaims the man. "I didn't know about a broken tail light!"
His wife again butts in, "Oh Frank, you've known about that tail light for weeks!"
Frank gives her a dirty look.
"And I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt," says the cop.
"I just took it off when you were walking up to the car!" Frank protests.
His wife adds, "Oh Frank, you never wear your seat belt!"
Infuriated, Frank turns and yells at his wife, "Shut your mouth, woman!"
The cop asks the woman, "Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?"
"No," she explains. "Only when he's drunk."
Hillbilly I.D.
This hillbilly is pulled over for speeding. The patrolman walks up to the driver's window and asks, "You got any ID?"
"'Bout what?" the hillbilly replies.