Originally Posted by
tornadospotter
It all started innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- you know, just to loosen up and be part of the crowd.
Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me; finally I was thinking all the time - and not so relaxed for fear of being caught.
Things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and tried to talk with my wife about the meaning of life. She went to her mother's.
Eventually I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but just couldn't help myself.
I began avoiding friends at lunchtime - to read Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzy and confused - asking things like: "What exactly are we doing here?"
Soon the boss called me in and said: "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another one."
That gave me pause. I came home early after our conversation and said to my wife: "Honey," I've been thinking..."
She said: "I know that, and I want a divorce!"
I replied: "But Honey, surely it's not that serious?" "Yes it is," she said, lower lip quivering.
She added: "College professors and faculty and philosophers don't earn much of a salary, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
I answered quickly: "That's an extremely faulty syllogism".
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.
I snarled at her: "I'm going to the library!" - and stomped out the door.
I roared into the library parking lot with NPR on the radio and John Locke on my mind. I hit those big glass doors on a dead run - totally ready for some relaxing mental engagement with Thoreau or Russell.
But they wouldn't budge - the library was closed !!
I now believe that my Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Emerson, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line - from the Thinkers Anonymous book?
I called the 800 number - and today I'm a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. They always start with the Serenity Prayer, followed by a non-educational video (last week it was "Porky's)." Then we share about how we've avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are much better at home. Life just seems easier since I stopped thinking. I believe that the road to recovery is wide open and, in fact, nearly complete for me.
So, today I took one final step.........I joined the Democratic Party......
:D