Farewell Crowd

[IlovetheChiefs]

Just want to say I think this may be my last post here.

I've felt rejection all my life from people and thus have long struggled with feeling inferior. Always been single, always been a lonely guy. Felt rejected everywhere including churches. I've gone long periods of time not attending church (including the present times) because of feeling not wanted and accepted.

So it feels like the case here at the Crowd too. I try to reach out and enjoy posting and fun times with everyone here. But the high majority of the time most people here just don't respond to anything I say (whereas they constantly respond to everything others say).

Where it really hurt was when I announced I got tickets for the Chiefs Eagles game. I was so glad to share the news with fellow Chiefs fans here and asked for high fives. But only 3 people replied. It hit home that I guess I just don't fit in online either. Just probably not cool enough of a person in people's eyes. So I had another period of not posting here for a while.

Then when I took that walk on Friday with my Chiefs gear and got all those comments from Eagles fans in my area, I thought oh I gotta share that with the Chiefs Crowd. Plus it was only 2 days before the game and I of course keep getting increasingly excited about that. So I been posting here the last couple days as we approach game time. (I'll be entering the stadium in less than 6 hours now. So exciting).

But I still continue to get little or no response to the things I say. And especially from the regular posters here which is all the more puzzling. I would have thought people would have thought it was cool I am going to a Chiefs game.

I plan to take lots of pics at the game. But am afraid if I share them here only 3 people at the most will acknowledge them (whereas if it was many other people's pics there'd be an avalanche of "Great pics!" and other replies). It just hurts too much.

I love that there's a forum like this for Chiefs fans. It's been especially meaningful for a fan like me who lives a long way from Kansas City and hasn't had much fellow Chiefs fans to talk with. But if the reality is I'm just not wanted then I have to accept it, painful as it is.

Well just explaining what's going on. No bitterness intended. And I'm still gonna be just as excited and ecstatic at the game today and rootin' for our Chiefs are heartily as all of you. So enjoy the game today. May we get our first win and beat the Eagles!

Take care.

[Connie Jo]

I want to add, that...I can empathize at times with your feeling lonely. I'm sorry you're feeling that way, and know at times how sad & depressed it can make your heart feel.

My kids are grown, I divorced last March, after 37 yrs of
marriage. Many wonder & ask why someone would divorce after that many yrs together. It might make you feel a bit more at ease if you know you're not alone with feeling depressed, rejected, and lonely...so I'll share this:

My X hubby had a heart attack scare Feb. 07, the month following, he began to change in personality negatively, & was diagnosed with severe clinical depression as a result of facing his mortality & aging. He didn't follow through with promises to seek professional counseling, & he turned to Jim Beam to relieve his panic attacks.

He became emotionally & physically abusive. After 2 1/2 yrs of my trying to help him, and stand beside him through sickness...I realized, regardless of my love for him, that I couldn't help someone who wouldn't help themself. The Dr's say he may never come out of it, especially without treatment. The only person I could help was me...before his instability and abuse destroyed what life & spirit he had not already drained of me the past 2 1/2 yrs.

I don't regret my choice, and do my best to move forward with a new life free of the abuse...but know
how the lonliness & rejection can feel at times.

I don't live close to my friends, nor family. I've never been alone, or on my own so to speak...we were highschool sweethearts & married the Fall following graduation. Being unsure of ones future they once thought was set in stone...can be overwhelming at times, including that very down & sad feeling of isolation & lonliness.

Until my house sells, & I can move from the country...closer to civilization, & re-establish myself in business...I have little contact daily with the outside world.

I have my 3 dogs, they help, but they don't converse back in a manner I can always comprehend, hahaha. :) I make myself get out & do things for my own emotional well being. Sometimes a simple drive cranking up the stereo helps. I only participate in two websites...here & a music related site, but it does help to not feel so lonely at times simply talking on line to friends sharing interests.

I'll make you a deal...if you get to feeling lonely & just want a fellow Chiefs friend to talk to...I'll talk to you when I'm on line & can. I enjoy friends & talking, especially about Chiefs! The internet is a blessing indeed in many ways...we are only alone if we choose to be...someone is most always on line to talk to...either here, or at my music website. :)

[McLovin]

[quote=tammietailgator;158290]You Yzilla, are the reason that most of us has met!!! - can't wait to meet everyone here! Except for McLovin[/quote]

There ya go FYP.

[IlovetheChiefs]

Many thanks everyone.

I understand everyone has their own difficult struggles in life and busy lives. Well, I'm sorry I chose the title for this thread I did. And thanks for your many thoughts on what I was venting off my chest, and for the pick me up comments.

[tammietailgator]

So your sticking around?! Yeah!

[tammietailgator]

[quote=McLovin;158314]

You Yzilla, are the reason that most of us has met!!! - can't wait to meet everyone here! Except for McLovin[/quote]

There ya go FYP.

You nerd!!! LOL! I would love to meet ya!

In a group of course!!

[McLovin]

[quote=tammietailgator;158324]

You nerd!!! LOL! I would love to meet ya!

In a group of course!!

Probably safer that way. :punchy:

[Bike]

Nobody responds to my posts either. So I just usually respond to them myself. But after re-reading my original post, I realize it was stupid and then kick myself for responding.
But in all seriousness, I sincerely hope you stick around as I do enjoy reading your posts.

[IlovetheChiefs]

Thanks Tammie. Thank you Bike. And thanks to all of you.

GO CHIEFS!

[chief31]

Actually not having a lot of people respond to you on this board can sometimes be seen as a good thing.

Sometimes. Damn near always a good thing, if everyone ignores you.

Most of the people that get a lot of response get it because they are controversial. Bashing a player that most love, bashing the coach, the team or talking smack about a habit of someone.

There are a lot of people on this board, I am not sure I have responded to any of your comments but I DO know your user name. Ditto. There are so many here that dont make a contribution in my book if your contribution wasnt appriciated or hated I personally qould not recognize your user name at all.

Oh you recognize DH, Canada and TC's names. Admit it!

Also there are several examples of where someone (myself once) that talked about leaving the crowd and usually (such as in my case) the other posters offer to show you the door. The fact that most are speaking up against you leaving speaks volumes. I can tell you if I offered to leave again there would be 100 responses begging me to follow through.

You are wanted and we do appriciate your contribution. Your just not controversial or hated.

Hope you stick around.

If you offered to leave again????? You darn good and well that you get that offer every time you log in here.

Man I wish I would have seen this before the game. I would have had to blast you for that last sentence!!!! LOL

Ssssshhhhhhh! I was just trying to help dig the guy out of the dumps. (But I did include the word "hope")

In hindsight, I might should have hoped for the loss, as he was able to escape the stadium safely with the loss.

[Sn@keIze]

Dont you ever threaten to leave here again!

We need you here.

I love how passionate you are about the Chiefs.

(And I love how passionate you are about "hungry man" meals. I luv em too!)

I take notice of your post. You are Genuine. Your love for the Chiefs is deeply rooted. You appreciate every game of the Chiefs.








That makes us family.