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Thread: NOW HIRING! Chiefs Employment Application. This is Hilarious!

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    Default NOW HIRING! Chiefs Employment Application. This is Hilarious!

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    The Kansas City Chiefs are Taking Applications

    by Bewsaf on Oct 14, 2009 6:44 PM CDT

    **All potential employees are evaluated without regard to religion, age, how long you have been on waivers, who you Parcells or Belichick (by the you know them?), veteran status, or a non-job related handicap that might prevent you from blocking.
    Position Sought:__________________________________________________ ______________________
    How did you learn about the position? (check one)
    [ ] ads in KC Star [ ] watched our last game [ ] Parcells told me [ ] I drew the short straw
    Name:______________________________ Address:_____________________ City:________________ Sate:__________________ Zip _____________________
    What date would you be available for work? _________________ (Could you play this weekend? Please!)
    Are you a U.S. citizen, or are you authorized to work in the U.S. without restriction? [ ] Yes [ ] No
    Have you ever been placed on waivers by another team? [ ] Yes [ ] No (If yes, then you are hired)
    If yes, please describe circumstances ____________ (not really, we don't are still hired)
    If employed, are you willing to be submitted to verbal abuse? Isolation if you are hurt? [ ] Yes [ ] No
    If you were in a pressure situation would you: [A] take a time out [b] snap the F*#*$^ ball
    If you were covering for a punt, would you: [A] down it on the one yard line [b] stick your head up your A#$ and watch it roll into the end zone
    If you are blocking for a punt field goal would you: [A] put your head up so as to stop some, say, 275lb guy from jumping over you [b] keep your head up your A#$ so you have a good view behind you of the blocked kick
    Last Employer:_________________________________________ __ Position:_________________________
    Was the employer the owner of the [ ] Dophins [ ] Cowboys [ ] Patriots [ ] Cardinals (If so, then your hired)
    Dates Employed: ____________________
    Address: ________________________ City:___________________ State: _____________________
    Your last Head Coach was: (If not Parcells or Belichick we really don't care) __________________________-
    Can you block? [ ] Yes [ ] No (Don't be so hard on haven't seen our guys yet)
    Other skills: ________________________ (Seriously, can you block)
    Acknowledgment and authorization
    In the event of employment, I understand that Pioli talks to his father-in-law and any false or misleading information given in my application or interview(s) may result in discharge. I understand, also, that I am required to abide by all rules and expectations of the employer. And if I cannot catch the F*#$#^ ball, I might be released.

    Signature of Applicant: __________________________________________________ _____________

    Last edited by Big Daddy Tek; 10-14-2009 at 10:19 PM.


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