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Thread: NOW HIRING! Chiefs Employment Application. This is Hilarious!

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    Default NOW HIRING! Chiefs Employment Application. This is Hilarious!


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    http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2009/10/14/1085410/the-chiefs-are-taking-applications

    The Kansas City Chiefs are Taking Applications


    by Bewsaf on Oct 14, 2009 6:44 PM CDT
    APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT

    KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
    **All potential employees are evaluated without regard to religion, age, how long you have been on waivers, who you know...like Parcells or Belichick (by the way...do you know them?), veteran status, or a non-job related handicap that might prevent you from blocking.
    Position Sought:__________________________________________________ ______________________
    How did you learn about the position? (check one)
    [ ] ads in KC Star [ ] watched our last game [ ] Parcells told me [ ] I drew the short straw
    Name:______________________________ Address:_____________________ City:________________ Sate:__________________ Zip _____________________
    What date would you be available for work? _________________ (Could you play this weekend? Please!)
    Are you a U.S. citizen, or are you authorized to work in the U.S. without restriction? [ ] Yes [ ] No
    Have you ever been placed on waivers by another team? [ ] Yes [ ] No (If yes, then you are hired)
    If yes, please describe circumstances ____________ (not really, we don't care...you are still hired)
    If employed, are you willing to be submitted to verbal abuse? Isolation if you are hurt? [ ] Yes [ ] No
    If you were in a pressure situation would you: [A] take a time out [b] snap the F*#*$^ ball
    If you were covering for a punt, would you: [A] down it on the one yard line [b] stick your head up your A#$ and watch it roll into the end zone
    If you are blocking for a punt field goal would you: [A] put your head up so as to stop some, say, 275lb guy from jumping over you [b] keep your head up your A#$ so you have a good view behind you of the blocked kick
    EMPLOYMENT:
    Last Employer:_________________________________________ __ Position:_________________________
    Was the employer the owner of the [ ] Dophins [ ] Cowboys [ ] Patriots [ ] Cardinals (If so, then your hired)
    Dates Employed: ____________________
    Address: ________________________ City:___________________ State: _____________________
    Your last Head Coach was: (If not Parcells or Belichick we really don't care) __________________________-
    Can you block? [ ] Yes [ ] No (Don't be so hard on yourself...you haven't seen our guys yet)
    Other skills: ________________________ (Seriously, can you block)
    Acknowledgment and authorization
    In the event of employment, I understand that Pioli talks to his father-in-law and any false or misleading information given in my application or interview(s) may result in discharge. I understand, also, that I am required to abide by all rules and expectations of the employer. And if I cannot catch the F*#$#^ ball, I might be released.

    Signature of Applicant: __________________________________________________ _____________


    //
    Last edited by Big Daddy Tek; 10-14-2009 at 11:19 PM.


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