Some encouraging news on a personal note...

**Connie Jo** · 08-05-2010, 03:22 PM

An attorney from Kansas Legal Aid called me a bit ago, and it appears my case against my 'x' husband related to his non compliance of all court orders in our divorce decree, is favorable with their accepting my application for legal representation at no cost.

The attorney said she wanted to speak with her supervisor however, as my case is very rare & complicated, due to my isolated residence, x being self employed able to hide income/assets, as well as many other rare factors & circumstances. She said even if he lies & attempts to manipulate, he didn't have a chance with a judge considering all the factual evidence against him relating to physical, emotional, financial & additional abuses over the last 3 yrs., & which still continues indirectly.

The bad news...the crimes he's committed against me are considered of such cruelty & neglect, arrogance with ignoring ALL court orders...the judge could put him in jail. I've never been the reason anyone has went to jail, let alone my kids' dad. This is only the first step in a process, but it's going to be difficult. I know it's what I have to do...to stop once & for all...the bullying, indirect abuse, disrespect for me as a human being, taking advantage of & using me, etc.. He knows my heart isn't a mean or vindictive natured one, and he took advantage of that too. :(

Putting him in jail doesn't help me receive court awarded investment compensation, but it's also possible the judge could as a result of his non compliance, award me full ownership & equity of the house & land. If that happens, I will be able to drop the price encouraging a quicker sale...he won't have the legal owner rights to prevent me from dropping the price, which he does now have & refuses to drop the price, regardless of risks to himself...not just risks to 'me'.

**Chiefster** · 08-06-2010, 08:52 AM

Well, we know that he is capable of learning. That is simply priceless!

I love how, even through times of emotional distress, you choose not to be miserable.

**Connie Jo** · 08-06-2010, 07:19 PM

Oh, I've had my moments of misery throughout this life transition. Heck, being isolated with no transportation can be miserable & depressing at times. Being in limbo not able to move forward, needing & wanting to re-locate to Kansas City, can be miserable.

There are aspects of being alone I enjoy, but yet not having someone to love & share life with, can be miserable sometimes too. I tend to have a heart than needs love in all aspects. I miss having someone to go places with, share the day's events with, and doing things to make him smile & laugh...for no reason, or for birthday, holidays, etc.. The man he became rarely smiled or laughed, no matter what I did to encourage it, my efforts were unappreciated. I don't miss that feeling at all.

Still, I'm blessed with the ability when I begin to feel sorry for myself...to remind myself it could be far worse, and is for many...so my self pity/misery doesn't last long, haha. I have by far more blessings in my life than not, regardless of the painful experiences I've endured in life, including those as a result of my x's self destruction. I admit the last 3 yrs have been the worst life experience yet related to emotional pain, heartbreak, & financial struggles. However, I also know these types of life experiences only make me stronger, wiser, and a better person overall than I was before as a result.

I'm in such a better place than I was the last 2-3 years of marriage. The man he became made life miserable most daily, and fearful too...never knowing from day to day what he would do to cause me hurt, humiliation, etc.. He drained the very life out of me, everything was for and about him only...I had no rights as a wife, mother, grandma, woman, or human being. I didn't realize how miserable being married to him had become, until I began to heal emotionally after I asked him to move out in April 2009...began re-building a life without him in it.

I can be 'me' again for the first time in so very long, without facing ridicule, humiliation, retaliation, abuse. With the exception of financial struggles, I'm having a pretty good time being 'me', haha. Most important is that I retain my soul, regardless of what happens. :)