Sorry everyone, today is my "Friday" and I'm bored so I figured I'd have a little fun. Here's what I think a typical interview with Al Davis would go like...feel free to modify or add to it. ;)
News source: Mr. Davis, just how many years are you going to allow your team to let all of it's talent run off as fast as it can?
Al Davis: Well, once they're done crying that they were drafted by the Faiders they pray for their contract to expire. Once that's done there's really no chance of signing any good talent back. So what we do is try to keep the mediocre talent, you know, the ones that can't really be signed anywhere else. It's pretty technical stuff and I don't think you'd understand.
News source: Uhm...ok. There have been rumors that you are secretly letting all of your good players go. That you're tanking the season so you can get Andrew Luck next year in the draft.
Al Davis: Here in the Faiders organization we're proud that our season tanks naturally. Sure we'll show flashes in the pan and have a good game or two but really we don't want to exceed any expectations. I mean heck, didn't you see us sign an average to good linebacker to a new contract while letting our best tight end go? You don't get that kind of good stuff overnight, you have to work for it.
As for drafting Andrew Luck next year I wouldn't worry about it, he's not fast enough and he doesn't have the intangibles like Jamarcus does.
News source: I'm sorry, what? You released Jamarcus Russel.
Al Davis: We did?!? Well I'm sure it was because he wasn't fast enough in his old age. Excuse me, I need to inject myself with this florescent green substance that keeps me alive. This'll just take a second.
News source: Mr. Davis what in the world are you talking about?
Al Davis: *Mumbles* Oh that's the good stuff!
News source: Well...uhm...Mr. Davis have you ever thought about using that substance on your own players during games in the 2nd half?
Al Davis: Absolutely not! I mean if everyone was good we wouldn't resign anyone and we'd have a whole new team every few years!
News source: You mean every few years when you get a new coach?
Al Davis: That's really just keeping our players on their toes. We also like to try to make sure that all our good players have exposure to several different schemes so when they move on to the other teams they're ready to step in and be productive.
News source: Mr. Davis I have to admit this is one of the weirdest interviews I've ever been involved with.
Al Davis: Well this is the Faiders, we exemplify weird.
News source: Thank you for your time, you heard it here first...Faiders are just plain weird.