Please please talk to someone that will listen even if you have to pay for their time. If you have thought of it that is a sign that you need help, do not wait until something pushes you over the edge.
If nothing else think of the ones left behind, some you do not even know they do, respect you. Remember that you may or will mean the world to someone you may not even know at this time.
Exactly, troubles will come and they will pass. IT WILL GET BETTER