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Thread: Joke of the day.

  1. #1
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    Default Joke of the day.


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    A man walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store.



    The next day he comes in again, again buys condoms, and again walks out laughing. Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back.



    Sure enough, the man comes in the next day and walks out laughing. This time the assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later.


    "So did you follow him?" asks the pharmacist.


    "Yup."


    "Where did he go?"


    "Your house."
    "If you need braggin' on, let someone else do it"-my dad


  2. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by Canada View Post
    FYP!!


    Even better!

    http://arrowheadjunkies.com/pictures/PhotoShop/sig_pics/NFL_Players/kansas_city_chiefs/tyson.jackson/062009/tyson.jackson.500.png

  3. #172
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    "Everybody underestimates the kick in the groin." - Bas Rutten

  4. #173
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    That's pretty damn funny dude!

    http://arrowheadjunkies.com/pictures/PhotoShop/sig_pics/NFL_Players/kansas_city_chiefs/tyson.jackson/062009/tyson.jackson.500.png

  5. #174
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    "Everybody underestimates the kick in the groin." - Bas Rutten

  6. #175
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    Skank Ho!
    http://arrowheadjunkies.com/pictures/PhotoShop/sig_pics/NFL_Players/kansas_city_chiefs/tyson.jackson/062009/tyson.jackson.500.png

  7. #176
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    "Time Efficiency" An efficiency expert was delivering a seminar on time management for a company's junior executives. He concluded the session with a disclaimer: "Don't attempt these task-organizing tips at home," he said. "Why not?" he was asked. "Well, I did a study of my wife's routine of fixing breakfast," he replied, a little embarrassed. "I noticed she made a lot of trips between the refrigerator and the stove, the table and the cabinets, each time carrying only one item. So I asked her, 'Honey, I notice that you make a lot of trips back and forth carrying one item at a time. If you would try carrying several things at once you would be much more efficient.'" He paused. "Did that save time?" one of the executives asked. "Actually, yes," the expert answered, "It used to take her twenty minutes to fix my breakfast. Now I get my own in seven minutes."


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    Quote Originally Posted by AkChief49 View Post
    "Time Efficiency" An efficiency expert was delivering a seminar on time management for a company's junior executives. He concluded the session with a disclaimer: "Don't attempt these task-organizing tips at home," he said. "Why not?" he was asked. "Well, I did a study of my wife's routine of fixing breakfast," he replied, a little embarrassed. "I noticed she made a lot of trips between the refrigerator and the stove, the table and the cabinets, each time carrying only one item. So I asked her, 'Honey, I notice that you make a lot of trips back and forth carrying one item at a time. If you would try carrying several things at once you would be much more efficient.'" He paused. "Did that save time?" one of the executives asked. "Actually, yes," the expert answered, "It used to take her twenty minutes to fix my breakfast. Now I get my own in seven minutes."
    That's why you keep your mouth shut!

    http://arrowheadjunkies.com/pictures/PhotoShop/sig_pics/NFL_Players/kansas_city_chiefs/tyson.jackson/062009/tyson.jackson.500.png

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    The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists...

    Two men and a woman.

    For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

    "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.

    In side of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"

    The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

    The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

    The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes.

    "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

    The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

    Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.

    She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

    After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

    She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."
    Last edited by hermhater; 04-16-2008 at 04:07 PM.
    http://arrowheadjunkies.com/pictures/PhotoShop/sig_pics/NFL_Players/kansas_city_chiefs/tyson.jackson/062009/tyson.jackson.500.png

  10. #179
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    There was once a monastery and the friars there wanted a new bell for the bell tower.

    To raise enough money for the bell, the friars decided to start a florist shop. Well, word got out that some friars were opening a flower shop, and everyone wanted the friar's flowers!

    So they got great business and lots of money. Well, the other florists in that area weren't very happy because they were losing business.

    They sent a warning to the friars telling the friars that if they didn't stop selling flowers that they would send someone over to rough 'em up.

    The friars ignored the warning. The next day however, the angry florists got together and hired a thug named Hugh.

    Hugh went to the friar's flower shop and beat the friars up and tore up their shop!

    So the moral to this story is: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars!
    http://arrowheadjunkies.com/pictures/PhotoShop/sig_pics/NFL_Players/kansas_city_chiefs/tyson.jackson/062009/tyson.jackson.500.png

  11. #180
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    Quote Originally Posted by royalswin100games View Post
    Obviously pre-HIPAA.


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