things to say in a public restroom
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your
neighbour, “May I borrow a highlighter?”
2. Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.”
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise
4. Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”
5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh shoot! My glass eye!”
6. Say “Darn, this water is cold.”
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a
cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh
relaxingly.
8. Say, “Now how did that get there?”
9. Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.”
10. Fill up a large flask with apple juice. squirt it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while
yelling, “Whoa! Easy boy!!”
11. Say, “Interesting….more sinkers than floaters”
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of
toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor.
Then say, “Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say, “C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!
14. Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot”
15. Say, “Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small.
Now what am I gonna do?”
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your
butt cheeks
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your
“Cross-Dressers Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to
the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it
so you can see your neighbor and say, “Oooh, you might want to get
a doctor to check that out”
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing
“Born Free.”
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Good stuff!
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