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Thread: The Chiefs Crowd Official Joke Thread

  1. #1
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    Default The Chiefs Crowd Official Joke Thread


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    There is a chiefs picture forum. Why not a Joke Forum? It is always a pain trying to weed out all of the jokes in a single thread specially when there are thread whores who swurve the thread.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweets View Post
    A Chiefs fan, a Raiders fan and a Redskins fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

    As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

    The Redskins fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Redskins fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

    The Raiders fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Raiders fan out crying like a little girl.

    The Chiefs fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

    "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Chiefs fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

    "Tie the Raiders fan to my back.
    that is one of the funniest yet! tie the faider fan to my back...


  3. #252
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweets View Post
    A Chiefs fan, a Raiders fan and a Redskins fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

    As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

    The Redskins fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Redskins fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

    The Raiders fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Raiders fan out crying like a little girl.

    The Chiefs fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

    "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Chiefs fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

    "Tie the Raiders fan to my back.
    Best one ever posted!!!!

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    Who is your real friend?


    This really works...! If you don't believe it, just try this experiment:

    Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car for an hour.






















    When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?

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  6. #255
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweets View Post
    A Chiefs fan, a Raiders fan and a Redskins fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

    As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

    The Redskins fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Redskins fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

    The Raiders fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Raiders fan out crying like a little girl.

    The Chiefs fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

    "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Chiefs fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

    "Tie the Raiders fan to my back.
    That is AWESOME!!

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    Dog for sale in Montana

    A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

    The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

    'You talk?' he asks.

    'Yep,' the Lab replies.

    After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

    The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

    'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. But the jetting
    around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

    'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

    'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

    'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

    'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff.


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  9. #258
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    An old one, but a good one...




    John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'

    That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

    He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'

    She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

    John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'

    'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

    The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

    The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'

    She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.

  10. #259
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    That sounds vaguely familiar.


  11. #260
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    Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

    "Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

    "Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

    Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

    "What shall I do now?" she shouts.

    "Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the
    Vatican ," says Sister Helen .

    Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues
    hissing at the nuns.

    "Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine.

    "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.

    "Now you're talking," says S ister Catherine.

    She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f**k off the windshield! "






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