The Chiefs Crowd Official Joke Thread

[Seek]

There is a chiefs picture forum. Why not a Joke Forum? It is always a pain trying to weed out all of the jokes in a single thread specially when there are thread whores who swurve the thread.

[kcvet]

How do you starve an Obama supporter??
It's really very simple, just hide their food stamps under their work shoes.

[Sweets]

I was talking to a guy in the line at the store. The conversation got around to wives, and he said he had been widowed three times. I said "Three wives, all dead and buried?" He said "Yes."
"What happened to the first one?"
"Poison Mushrooms."
"What happened to the second one?"
"Poison Mushrooms."
"And the third?"
"Fractured skull."
"How did that happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the Poison Mushrooms."

[AussieChiefsFan]

[Chiefster]

SWEATS!!!!!!!!!

Good to see you!!!

[AkChief49]

Hi SWEETS. Long time no see. Too bad about your 9ers. They easily could have been San Fran Six-0 this year.

[kcvet]

the cure for fat lazy politicians

[tornadospotter]

2 QUARTERS or a DOLLAR BILL
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.' The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?'


The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar. 'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'


Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says ; 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'

The boy licked his cone and replied, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'



How true that is.

[Chiefster]

2 QUARTERS or a DOLLAR BILL
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.' The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?'


The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar. 'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'


Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says ; 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'

The boy licked his cone and replied, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'

LOL!!! Nice!

[kcvet]

This was just released, the Official Schedule for the Democrat National Convention in Charlotte NC, Sept 4-6, 2012:
Democratic National Convention Schedule

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM – Singing of "G_D___ America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama

4:15 PM – Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM –Al Sharpton Leads Castration Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire"

5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States

6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl

9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangell
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners

10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ, & Afghanistan
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagojevich rally

11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher

12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination, declares that the Kenyan thing was a distraction, he was really born in Bethelehem

12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

[TopekaRoy]

This was just released, the Official Schedule for the Democrat National Convention in Charlotte NC, Sept 4-6, 2012:
Democratic National Convention Schedule

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM – Singing of "G_D___ America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama

4:15 PM – Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM –Al Sharpton Leads Castration Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire"

5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States

6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl

9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangell
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners

10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ, & Afghanistan
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagojevich rally

11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher

12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination, declares that the Kenyan thing was a distraction, he was really born in Bethelehem

12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

Hilarious! i could actually see MOST of these really happening!