There is a chiefs picture forum. Why not a Joke Forum? It is always a pain trying to weed out all of the jokes in a single thread specially when there are thread whores who swurve the thread.
There is a chiefs picture forum. Why not a Joke Forum? It is always a pain trying to weed out all of the jokes in a single thread specially when there are thread whores who swurve the thread.
This is a story about A Fly, a Fish, a Bear A Hunter, a Mouse and a Cat.
There is a moral to this story...... (Maybe not the one Most of you expect.... So, read on!)
In the dead of summer a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream.
The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular,
"Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist
From the water and I will be refreshed."
There was a fish in the water thinking,
"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."
There was a bear on the shore thinking,
"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches
That fish will jump for the fly...
And I will grab the fish!!"
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank
Of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich....
"Gosh," he thought,"if that fly goes down three inches...
And that fish leaps for it...
That bear will expose himself and grab for the fish.
I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."
A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking,
"Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches...
And that fish jumps for that fly..
And that bear grabs for that fish..
The dumb hunter will shoot the bear
And drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought,
(as was fashionable to do on the banks of
This particular river around lunch time)
"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches..
And that fish jumps for that fly ..
And that bear grabs for that fish
And that hunter shoots that bear..
And that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich .
Then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he
Heads down for the cooling mist of the water.
The fish swallows the fly...
The bear grabs the fish..
The hunter shoots the bear..
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich...
The cat jumps for the mouse..
The mouse ducks...
The cat falls into the water and drowns.
NOW, The Moral Of The Story....Whenever a fly goes down three inches,Some ***** is gonna be in serious danger.
Rekindling The Romance...
After nearly 45 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the
wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down
past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.
He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
To which he responded: 'I found the remote.'
Awesome TS!
Hunting on a farm
A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's
yard.
The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt.
The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?"
The hunter said, "Sure," and headed for the car. While walking back,
however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies.
He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said okay, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson."
With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule.
As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!" a second shot rang out from the passenger side. One of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the cow!"
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference.
At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.
They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all Three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers buy no tickets at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.
When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby.
The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket please."
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