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I’m doing some research into the differences between men and women that will help me help others through my volunteer counseling efforts.
I’ve noticed some men and women seem to be chauvinistic against the opposite sex, especially if they’ve had a negative experience. For instance, I have female friends who bash men in general, some are worse about it than others, but they have one common unity…a bad relationship, either existing or ended. They continue to have relationships with men even though they bash them, so they’re contradictory in that aspect, lol. I have male friends who do the same, they stereotype all women as being the same after a negative experience with one.
Personally, my brain doesn’t work like that…I probably have more reason to be bitter, angry, and hateful towards men than most women I know who bash men. However…I’ve never felt like that, I judge each person I cross paths with individually, male or female. Another contradiction is most women & men have had bad relationship experiences with those of their own gender sex also…be it a rival, x -friend, co-worker, whomever. They don’t throw their own gender into a category of all being bad like they do when having a negative experience with the opposite gender.
So, if you don’t mind participating in my research efforts I’d like to know your general observations of the differences between the genders in personality & behavior. If you’re a woman…what negative traits in men do you see as being universal in all men? If you’re a man…what negative traits of women do you see as all being the same?
Connie Jo;230108 wrote:For instance, I have female friends who bash men in general, some are worse about it than others, but they have one common unity…a bad relationship, either existing or ended. They continue to have relationships with men even though they bash them, so they’re contradictory in that aspect, lol. I have male friends who do the same, they stereotype all women as being the same after a negative experience with one.You have summed it up. “Cats and Dogs living together, mass hysteria!”(Stripes) They say that men are dogs and women are cats.
If dogs had opposable thumbs they would help you with the yard work.
If cats had opposable thumbs they would steal your car.(just kidding)
Everyone has a bad relationship or maybe two. Hopefully they learned from the them. Not all cats and dogs get along-but some do. You gotta find some common ground-mutual respect. Sometimes when people start falling for each other, common sense goes out the window. Some call this love. In our “gotta have it now” society, people tend to ignore the signs, what they know to be true-this person may not be right for me.
It is my humble opinion that LONGER courtships would prevent a lot of bad marriages. They need to take their time getting to know someone. If after a year the guy is still opening the door for you, might be a keeper. If after a year she still appreciates the fact that you opened the door for her, might be a keeper. It does take effort to make all of it work. If it is a bad fit-don’t commit!
Women tend to think they can change a guy. Some are trainable, sure. Men tend to get comfortable and ignore women’s emotional needs. Lets face it, women are more emotional than men. Goes back to the effort thing. Cannot let things go stagnant. By the way, during football season you’re on your own!!!:biggrin:Connie Jo;230108 wrote:I’m doing some research into the differences between men and women that will help me help others through my volunteer counseling efforts.I’ve noticed some men and women seem to be chauvinistic against the opposite sex, especially if they’ve had a negative experience. For instance, I have female friends who bash men in general, some are worse about it than others, but they have one common unity…a bad relationship, either existing or ended. They continue to have relationships with men even though they bash them, so they’re contradictory in that aspect, lol. I have male friends who do the same, they stereotype all women as being the same after a negative experience with one.
Personally, my brain doesn’t work like that…I probably have more reason to be bitter, angry, and hateful towards men than most women I know who bash men. However…I’ve never felt like that, I judge each person I cross paths with individually, male or female. Another contradiction is most women & men have had bad relationship experiences with those of their own gender sex also…be it a rival, x -friend, co-worker, whomever. They don’t throw their own gender into a category of all being bad like they do when having a negative experience with the opposite gender.
So, if you don’t mind participating in my research efforts I’d like to know your general observations of the differences between the genders in personality & behavior. If you’re a woman…what negative traits in men do you see as being universal in all men? If you’re a man…what negative traits of women do you see as all being the same?
It seems to me to be about the baggage you bring with you to the relationship. In my experience, women tend to be more vocal about the baggage they bring. Men on the other hand, they have baggage, but you do not find out about until 6 or 8 months into the relationship.
This usually ends up in one of the following ways:
1. The guy gets wind of the baggage early on, and dumps the woman. Usually, they have had sex and the woman is thinking things are going perfectly, just to end up dumped with no real reason given. (guys don’t want to list the faults they see in you, they just want you gone.)
2. The guy can handle the baggage so he decides to stick it out a while. The woman, however, starts to get an idea of the man she has. Men come with baggage, just like women do, ours is just harder to get out of us. After a while, the woman starts to understand the baggage the guy has and a couple of additional things start to happen.
1. She thinks she can change him, so she starts nagging him about the small things, like hanging out with his friends, watching too much football, leaving the toilet seat up. When these smaller things do not change, then she starts nagging on larger things, the money he spends, the amount of beer he drinks.This never works out, especially with older guys that do not have to put up with it. This is about the only break up, where a guy really gets pissed enough to hate all women over it.
2. The women gets smart and leaves him over his baggage, guys do not freak out too much about this one as long as the woman does not try to do the “change” thing before it happens.
We guys are really a pretty simple group, we like sex and food, and some of us are into sports and toys. My wife and I learned to live with one another a long time ago. She lets me have some freedoms, I let her have hers, we have been married so long though that the baggage each of us carry is shared baggage.
She got me early enough that she has me trained the way she wants me, and I her.
Ultimately it boils down to one thing, you are never going to change the other person, so you should be careful not to share your bed with another person until you know if that is the person you are OK with. Old-fashioned I know.
Anyway, that is my take on the subject anyway.
[ame=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiFsFwY3uG8″%5DYouTube – ?1-Tale of Two Brains-01.mp4??[/ame]
[ame=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMZfCHdE4AE&NR”%5DYouTube – ?1-Tale of Two Brains-02.mp4??[/ame]
A bit of a different perspective.
I don’t know if this is what your looking for but I see girls between the ages of 16 and probably 24 or so texting while they are driving. That $h!t just pisses me off.
Chiefster;230128 wrote:YouTube – ?1-Tale of Two Brains-01.mp4??YouTube – ?1-Tale of Two Brains-02.mp4??
A bit of a different perspective.
So very true. I now know why! I never remember things my wife swears she told me, now if I can only get her to understand that, no I did not hear you and this is why.:smile
I can’t stand the women that wear very revealing outfits, and then get upset about guys looking at the their chest.
I also hate the comment that women make about having to put make up on to look good for us, and we don’t have to do anything. I am not the one who puts that crap on your face hiding your blimishes.
tornadospotter;230135 wrote:So very true. I now know why! I never remember things my wife swears she told me, now if I can only get her to understand that, no I did not hear you and this is why.:smilewhat?eh?
tornadospotter;230135 wrote:So very true. I now know why! I never remember things my wife swears she told me, now if I can only get her to understand that, no I did not hear you and this is why.:smileEggsactly! 😆
AkChief49;230139 wrote:what?eh?Watch the vids, or was you in your nothing box?
I love my nothing box!:yahoo:tornadospotter;230142 wrote:Watch the vids, or was you in your nothing box?
I love my nothing box!:yahoo:Yup, my nothing box is my sanctuary.
One of the biggest differences I see is women seem to take things more personal then men. Guys will walk up and say F you to there buddies and will have a good time just throwing out insults at each other. You don’t see that alot in women.
To sum it up real short
Women marry men hoping he will change. While a man marries a women hoping she doesn’t change.Oh, these are GREAT y’all!! YES!! This is what I’m looking for Honda & everyone! Thank you!
I know books exist explaining ‘expert’ opinions on the differences between the genders, I’ve read some, also many articles online from so called experts & research universities. I don’t want ‘expert’ 2nd hand opinions, I need relationship opinions from men & women straight from them, not some so called expert who polled, or talked to people I have no idea as to how they chose & categorized those people interviewed in their studies.
I’m really having a tough time figuring out how to help some people I offer emotional support to…to stop stereotyping all men and women as being one in the same. Yes, every man has some basic similarities, as well as every woman…but not every ‘individual’ is one in the same with habits, addictions, hobbies, interests, passions, general behavior overall.
I talk to some women for instance…who think ALL men have abusive tendencies, foul mouths towards women, and also believe all are ‘players’…not sincere & honest. I don’t help as many men as I do women…just a few guys, but they tend to think ALL women are shopoholics, hate sports, and also not sincere & honest! Well, if a man is a fan of a sports complaining ALL women hate sports…wouldn’t he naturally notice how many women attend sporting events in our modern society? I’ve found many beliefs both men and women have about one another simply don’t hold true in today’s society, rather that of 40-50 yrs. ago (as a time example). Our society seems to have evolved without our stereotyping beliefs of the opposite sex evolving as well.
Anyway…if it’s true all people carry ’emotional baggage’ allowing it to affect their relationship…it’s no wonder so many relationships fail these days. Somehow men and women both need help changing their belief that the ‘next’ relationship is NOT with the same person their ’emotional baggage’ originated from. They need to learn to let go, and learn not to stereotype all men and women as being one in the same. They also need to learn that genders have evolved just as drastically as our society has…and neither sex can be defined as it was generations ago.
Just a FYI…I read a research article the other day related to relationships. Did you know that many so called research experts say that if the current trend continues in divorce, that 25th & 50th anniversaries could become extinct once my generation expires?!!!!! Imagine that…no 25th or 50th wedding anniversaries, that’s so sad I think.
The number one current cause of divorce is infidelity/adultry. That’s an entirely different relationship subject though. I believe if men and women can learn to accept and respect our natural differences, as well as respect that it doesn’t matter what sex someone is…above everything else…that they are a unique individual…there wouldn’t be as much infidelity. We become who we are as a person due to many factors…genetic, childhood upbringing, education, and life experiences…to name the main factors influencing who we are.
Another major issue affecting relationships in today’s society is…with each year the number of people suffering from various forms of depression, addictions, financial difficulties, & more negative factors…are increasing, some at epidemic levels. Think of how many people are diagnosed now each year as being Bi-Polar, ADHD, OCD, etc..
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